Obviously, the Internet and what we call “social media” has grown by leaps and bounds since I was in college, and even since I graduated. MySpace was the big thing when I was in college and now it has more than been replaced with Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr (among others). Although I spend a lot of time online and have for the past dozen years or so, I’ve always been hesitant to join social media. My friends all but had to threaten me into joining Facebook for the sake of easier communications a couple of years ago. I’ve adjusted well, and now it is part of my routine. Part of the appeal is reconnecting or at least being reminded of people from your past. I happened to stumble across a friend of a friend who I did forget about but whose place within my adventures with the opposite sex (or my “hall of shame/frustration”) exists. The timing was convenient, as it does involve this section of my life, college. I attended two colleges, and I have been recounting things in order.
The obligatory alias will be Sybil. Although I made many friends or associates in high school, in truth I only actively pursued a few; the rest I met because they were friends or associates of people I already knew. Just hanging around enough people long enough, especially on campus or in the lunchroom instead of actually in classes accomplished that, at least non romantically. Sybil was in fact a friend of “M****”, who came up back in August in my “Rolling as the Third Wheel” intro to high school post. He was actually one of my first major friends in high school, who was one of the few people who hadn’t mocked me in junior high gym class, so I thus knew him. I made a few friends through him and he quickly became part of our nerd/geek/metal head troupe back then. Sybil was different, though, and usually hung around different circles. She was short, blonde, and lean, and at the time fairly religious. If I had to describe her, I could easily even if it would sound dorky. Sybil seemed to resemble Zelda from the “Legend of Zelda” video game series quite a bit – only without the elf ears, dresses, or magical powers of course.
Naturally, I had a crush on her. To tell the truth, I seemed to have a crush on nearly every girl who was “my type” that I encountered for very long in high school. I simply never made anything of it for a variety of reasons (usually centered on the belief that they wouldn’t be into me and I was afraid of the rumor of liking them spreading throughout the social circle). We talked to each other fairly often (as I usually hung around M**** all day) and even rode home on the bus a few times together. She was fairly intelligent, not a slacker like most of us were, and while she wasn’t as much into some of the geeky stuff that we were, she didn’t seem to look down on it as much as other “norms” out there. After all, we did hang out playing tabletop RPG’s with dice.
The only difference with Sybil, which is why I am bringing it up, was because she was the first (and to date, only) one of my crushes that I wrote a “love letter” to. Now, when I say “wrote” I don’t mean “delivered to”. I wrote it once at some point in high school (I think I was 16-17) and had in my wallet, but I never gave it to her. I didn’t know where her locker was, and I didn’t know where her apartment building was or where she lived. The most I had to go on was a bus stop. I remember looking briefly until I realized that I was being creepy. I’ve long since thrown that note out and it’s been well over a decade before I ever read it, but from what I remember it was rather pathetic. It was almost apologetic in my feelings towards her and all but begging for her to like me back, or forgive me about the note or feelings. Delivering it would not have ended well, and I am glad I did not. I heard from M**** that she didn’t believe in sex before marriage, and whether that was true or not I don’t know since I never asked her. I didn’t care. One doesn’t have to have sex to date a little, right? Nowadays I would be hesitant if only because I am unprepared to wait until marriage and I wouldn’t want to jerk someone’s emotions around. I was slightly less considerate about that as a teenager.
Naturally I got out of high school and attended college, and Sybil wound up attending the same college briefly. We spoke a few times and rode the bus back to the neighborhood a few times. I had no clue that she was attending that college and I didn’t see her too many times. By then I’d long forgotten the note but she was still very much my type. She had a different major than I, and soon began attending another college, and I lost track. She was briefly managing one of the school’s computer labs, which was how we ran into each other; I was a mainstay of those labs.
Just this week I happened to realize she was on Facebook. However, sometimes how people change over the years can be shocking. She’s since become an extremely staunch conservative, far more than I am (I am politically more of a moderate “a pox on both their houses” cynic). Some of her political views I naturally would take pause to, and I was genuinely surprised that she’d become so. I either never saw her that way in high school or college, or just never got into politics. That’s hardly a deal breaker for me, but a complete difference of opinion on many affairs can be distressing.
At any rate, it reminded me of this adventure, which I’ve managed to cover. Next time, either a general rant or a far more interesting college recap involving multiple actors.